Call In Reinforcements!

Have we really earned this reputation? Have we digressed so far from our cultural decency and social etiquette that we can’t play a game, any game, without having a legion of police officers on hand to mediate disputes and to quell the violence? Are we still so far at odds that, centuries after the conflict was settled between your grandma and my grandma sitting by the war bonfire, we still hold grudges and are deadlocked in a pissing contest that no one is ever going to win?

Here’s the truth from where I stand. Samoans and Tongans are stuck in a sibling rivalry that is fueled by the one thing that we are most noted for – our competitiveness. Now throw into that mix a few ‘battles’ on the fields of play. Mix in a bit of off-handed media commentary about age-old rivalries, a dash of stubborn chieftains with loose lips, a squirt of gasoline to ignite the flames between the warring factions and you’ve got yourself a good old fashion backyard barbecue, complete with uncles slapping each other around and aunts wielding high heels yelling obscenities and scratching each others eyes out. Just like at Cousin Junior’s wedding last summer.

Its reminiscent of that wonderful rivalry between the Irish Catholics and their Irish Protestant neighbors. Not to be lost in the fray are the longtime pleasantries exchanged between those wonderful cousins the Pakistani’s and the Indian’s. And of course there is that matter that just can’t seem to end between Israel and the rest of the Middle East.

Okay, so its not quite as severe but you have to wonder what exactly it we’re still having disputes over after all these years. I mean, half of my very best Tongan friends are married to Samoan women and several of my Samoan cousins are married to Tongan males. Then there is the matter of my own family tree that shows a very strong Tongan bloodline on my maternal grandmother’s side. Oh yeah, my sister is also married to a guy with very strong Tongan ties and at one time my youngest sister was married to a half-Tongan kid, until they had a dispute.

Don’t get me wrong, I think rivalries in sports are healthy because it is what makes competitions exciting. But it is the bad taste in your mouth that lingers for days after players and fans take the rivalries too far. Sportsmanship is just as important as competitiveness because it allows us to show class and dignity in the face of adversity. In any game there has to be a victor and a loser and sometimes there are even losers on the winning side.

I love watching Tongan and Samoan international sides go at each other for an hour like their lives were at stake. But more than that, I enjoy watching the players congratulate each other, pat one another on the back, shake hands and walk away friends. And everyone in the bleachers should reciprocate. Let the players represent your country with vigor and leave the trash-talk and violence on ice.