SINK OR SWIM: PROFITING FROM A GOLDEN BOY’S IMAGE

Since the rest of the world seems to be mentally punching, scratching and burning Michael Phelps in effigy I thought I’ll put my token in the Michael Phelps Kicking Machine and see how much damage I can do without getting second hand smoke….or not.

Here’s the thing, everyone has vices. We all have at least one little character frailty that either endears people to us or repels them like bikers at a tea party. Some of us are addicted to illicit drugs and others need to do a little shoplifting to make life seem normal, right Wynona Ryder?

The point is Phelps was engaged in an activity (albeit an illegal activity) that a good number of people who attend these types of parties (the ones that are not hosted by clergymen or the local chapter of M.A.D.D.) are doing. And before I start sounding like I’m advocating this type of behavior let me make it clear that I don’t agree nor do I condone his conduct. But it is absolutely clear that had this been a regular Joe Schmuck (or Joe the Plumber) and not a guy whom everyone at the party knows has some serious cash money sitting in a vault back at the mansion, this picture would have ended up on his buddies MySpace page with a tag line that reads, “Joe Gets More Bong For His Buck!”

Cereal giant Kellogg’s has already dumped Phelps’ endorsement contract because his behavior is “not consistent with the image” of the company. Fortunately for Phelps, Subway is standing by him even though he may still be facing charges for his illegal activities and other sponsors like Visa, Speedo and athletic beverage PureSports still believe that Phelps’ golden smile are still worth the money they are spending to retain him as a spokesperson.

Compounding the Phelps saga is the fact that it’s now being reported that eight people have been arrested in conjunction with the misdeed after reportedly trying to sell the bong that Phelps used when the photo was taken, on eBay. Where do they find these guys, the University of the Dimwitted?

I’m not going to flog the guy for being human. After all, this is a guy who wears a Speedo for a living. I’m not going to look past this slip up because my sons all thought he was “pretty cool for winning all of those gold medals,” in the Olympics. I think the thing that bothers me most about this stupid thing is that celebrities are held to a different standard when they are living or breaking the law. It’s never a black-and-white, cut-and-dry situation when a celebrity is involved and in the background, someone is somehow looking for a way to profit off the guy’s peaks and valleys. The guy is being demonized by the same media that elevated him to a ‘larger-than-life’ status. And while he’s trying to be human, some Johnny Profiteer is taking his picture to sell to the media while his buddy Roger Racketeer is selling his shorts to the highest bidder.

This is the reality of fame. You break a few world records swimming like a dolphin amongst guppies and the next thing you know someone is clipping your fins to sell to a novelty shop for a pretty penny. If that’s what celebrity brings you, sell my fifteen minutes to Paris Hilton!